| Relationships: Father-son Hunger in the belly. I just hope you will sign it. Dad, I got bad marks for this C.A, but I promise I will buck up. If you can, do not tell mum or she will be very disappointed. From now on, I will study one solid hour and will be hardworking everyday. I will be studious for the rest of the year and try my best for the next examination. By then, I assure you I will get good marks. Your sorry son... No words can express a parent's sadness to see red marks in the report card. It is not a matter of studying one solid hour per day. There is something missing in you, a student - the hunger in the belly. Some writers call it the fire in the belly. It explains why one person excels and the other is mediocre. In this world, it is said 20% of the group produces 80% of the results or profits to the company. The other 80% are like you. There is no fire in the belly to top the class. When we go to the Bukit Panjang Shopping Mall Library, you would go straight to the games arcade or to the games card shop. You would rush into the library, select a book or two and you were out. Action speaks louder than words. I knew and I know you are not interested in the world of books. I have told mum 3 days ago, you would fail your Chinese and other subjects. She strongly believes in you as you have had promised her you would be working hard last term and also last year. She got very angry when I said you would fail. As if I was a prophet or Mr Knows All. Now you have mediocre results and 2 failures out of 8 subjects. I believe that you will fail more. You liked to quote what Mr Gesner said about academic excellence. He said it is not important in life. I got angry when I read that a nominated member of parliament who had no children of her own, recently asked for the abolition of the ranking of secondary schools so that the children would not be stressed. As if the parents don't know which are the top schools when there is no ranking? During my time, my father who was just a clerk, knew that Raffles Institution and Victoria Secondary Schools were the top schools in the 1960s. There was no ranking 40 years ago. He wasn't interested in knowing the bottom schools. He was proud when his son went into Raffles Institution. You had said it was much easier to be admitted to Raffles Institution during my time and not nowadays. One of your teachers discouraged you from even thinking of Raffles Institution. Maybe she knew you did not have "the fire in your belly". It was not much easier then. It was hard work. No television and lots of reading and visits to the National Library. You need to be top 3 in the whole cohort consistently to be able to get into the top school and I am sure this is still the situation today as it was so many years ago. Your primary school put the best students in the "E" class instead of the "A" class. As if the students themselves will not know that the top students are grouped in "E" class. As if the parents are so stupid too thinking that their "A" class boys are tops. This is self delusion of the education system. Yes, when you are doing very well in your career or are a multi-millionaire like Mr Gesner, you can say that we should not stress our children. After all, you will have the money to care for your children's future and pay for any overseas education. You can promote "academic excellence is not important" philosophy. Your parents will not have the financial means to send you to an overseas university. Mum has high hopes you will qualify for the local university but since your Chinese grades are very poor, it looks like you will not even be qualified. Inherited wealth can be lost through cheating by friends, in-fighting by the brothers as in the Lam Soon family and the trappings of a luxurious lifestyle from inherited money. Intellectual wealth and academic excellence cannot be lost. When parents of taxi drivers and hawkers tell me proudly that their children are graduates from foreign or local universities, I feel happy for them because I know they don't have much spending money to dream of buying handphones or pokemon card and Play station. The children excelled in academic studies because they do not want to be taxi drivers. They had put in the many hours of study. Unless you are exceptionally gifted intellectually and have a photographic memory, it will be hard work. Talk is cheap. Promises to do well in studies are broken many times. There comes a point when you have no self respect because you do not keep promises. Soon, you grow up to be a compulsive liar, a smooth operator hassling others for money or loans to buy food. A father who has no responsibility or love for the family. A lay-about who does not want to work and sponge on others. A vagrant or a criminal needing money to survive. You join the drug syndicates to make fast and easy money. Why work hard when you can con or steal? A world of deception and illusion will be your future if you keep on making false promises and not giving priority to your studies. Family Relationships is sponsored by asiahomes.com Send mail to [] with questions or comments about this web site. Copyright © 2000 []
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