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Mother-daughter Mum's sacrifices for little women "How could you do it, mum?" queried the 12-year old Jane, pointing to the lower part of her abdomen. We were in a room at the Fort Canning Japanese restaurant celebrating her birthday. It would be a boring birthday, the usual eating and singing "Happy Birthday to you". So boring. Might as well stay at home to play Role-playing-games at the computer. 12-year olds are easily bored nowadays, especially in the company of parents and their friends. We were all not really sitting Japanese style as there was a central pit for us to put our legs. It was more comfortable than sitting cross-legged. Jane sat on one corner, next to a friend called Daniel, her mum and daddy. I was on the other side, next to Jason's mummy, Jason, Jane's 8-year old sister It probably started when I said that the bitch has no "Fallopian tubes unlike women" to Jane's father who is a doctor. "Fallopian tubes is an outdated term," said Jane authoritatively. "They are called oviducts. The eggs are fertilised by the sperms in the oviducts and they form the zygote. The cells divides into two and multiplies to form the foetus". It was first term and the examinations this topic of human reproduction was just over. "We still use the term Fallopian tubes in medical practice " The doctor was unaware of such a major dropping of the term. Well, there is the school text book, Chapter 12 and the teacher had told Jane. "You are not to touch this book," Jane's sister was told. The 8-year old sister would probably check this out as she is an intelligent and chatty girl although more interested in pokemon cartoons and comics. Back to the question. "How could you do it, mum?" . Does it refer to the difficulties in child-birth or processes leading to conception? I thought it was the latter. Dad kept quiet and waited breathlessly for the stunned mother to reply. There was a long silence. You could hear the pin drop. I could not think there would be any answer. "We did it because we love you," was a reply from Jason's mummy. Sounds like an acceptable, good reply. "Otherwise you would not be here today," said Jane's mum. What else could mums say to a 12-year old? Jane's little sister participated by mentioning that in some drawings, they use leaves (to cover the male parts). 8-year olds are nowadays more sophisticated and know more about this topic. Changing topics, certain words could be misconstrued over the phone said Jane's mum. Once she was talking to a Caucasian over the phone and spelt out the name of a person he wanted. The person was Mr Fu. So she spelt "F U". "F U too" shouted the angry Caucasian. "Does it mean we cannot speak to Dr Foo?" asked Jane's sister regarding a close family friend known as Dr Foo. His surname is pronounced in the same way as "Fu". "Fu Manchu" is spelt as "Fu" and this is the English spelling of the surname. "How come you daughter bring up such topic?" I admonished the doctor gently. His face was flushed red. "It must be the teacher and the education system. Nothing to do with me" Teachers get the blame. They probably blame the parents for the lack of upbringing of a child too. His daughter has definitely grown up and could discuss an adult topic if she is in the mood. The nuns at the the convent school had been evangelistic to ensure that the young women are prepared for adulthood. "No more the birds and the bees and storks bringing in the baby?" I asked the father. 12-year old daughters in Singapore are prepared to face the adult world. They are little women. Soon, they will not join mum and dad for birthday lunches, as it will be boring. This is a sad thing if young ladies will not spare some time with their parents and friends occasionally. It was one of those rare birthday lunches where everybody outside the room must have heard a lot of laughter. Words could not express all that had happened on a birthday but we know that our 12-year olds are much more sophisticated than we think they are. It was cetainly not a boring event for a birthday. Family Relationships is sponsored by http://www.asiahomes.com Send mail to david@asiahomes.com with questions or comments about
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